December 1st is proving to be a tough day. The day before my birthday.
Rather than anticipating the cake and presents, I’ve unwillingly turned the day into a reflective one. It’s like the end of a day when you’re replaying the day’s events and accomplishments. But rather than just a day, I’ve been rehashing the prior year, perhaps even years. Maybe it’s the fact that my age is increasing or the length of all of those years, but as I evaluate, my glass at times can seem more on the empty side than the full one. The contents of the glass I’m referring to is not all of the people and events in my life. But rather, the amount I’ve poured in.
My half-full perspective comes partly because there’s a lie out there that I bought into for a while.
“You are enough.”
Oh, I know it’s well-intentioned. I know women especially say it to each other to build and mend and soothe. I understand the sentiment. I’m sure in the right context it has meaning and worth.
But it has never added up for me.
I guess I’m the type that always sees something more to be accomplished. Or maybe I see my own short-comings blaring in my thoughts.
When my head hits the pillow, I’m not mentally patting myself on the back saying, “Good job. You were enough today.”
It’s more like, “You need to give more time to your boys. You need to give more attention to your words, to what you put into your mouth, to the dust on your baseboards.”
In other words, “The world is saying you are enough. But really, you aren’t.” And there’s a long to-do list, unorganized closets, wrinkles, bad attitudes, and unachieved goals to prove it.
I hope you’ve stuck with this pity party long enough to realize that it actually turns into a party.
Here it is: when I let go of the fact that I can never measure up, accomplish it all, or be enough, my glass became full.
The gift I receive on my birthday and every day is completion. Completion in Christ. The freedom of not having to be enough because Jesus is.
Jesus is enough. More than enough. And because I have Him, and only because of Him, I am enough.
I still have to-do lists. But in Him, I find grace to face them.
I still have harsh words and bad attitudes, but I can run to Him for forgiveness.
I still have let downs and disappointments, but I can look to Him for hope.
I still have earthly constraints, but in Him I have freedom.
I still have lack, from time to patience to money. But in Him I have completeness. Wholeness. Enough.
One of my favorite songs highlights this fact:
“In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, and strivings cease!
My Comforter, My All in All.
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”
Cease striving. Christ is sufficient.
All of the checkmarks on the to do list aren’t enough. A flawless face, a picture-perfect family, and commas in the bank account won’t measure up. Even good deeds done with a smile won’t fulfill.
But Jesus does. He is enough.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19