November 7, 2016

 

Oh, this election. We are tired. We are weary. We are in need of miracles or the rapture.

And I know we’re out of time, but maybe just what we need is another candidate. Someone to boldly step away from the laundry and come into the limelight, leggings, ponytail, and all. Because at times like these, we need someone with nerves of steel, a strong back, and a solid resume.

 

ballot

 

We need a mom.

Think about it. Yes, moms are moms. But we’re so much more.

We are nurses armed with Star Wars Band-Aids.

We are teachers with reading skills and homemade multiplication cards.

We are short order line cooks whipping up PB&Js, nuggets, and homemade chocolate chip cookies without blinking an eye.

We are shoulders to cry on and ears to listen. We make more decisions daily after school than many do in a month.

Not that I’m asking to run…I’d actually run from the job, but take a look at some of my qualifications. I’m sure you are or know a mom whose resume would resemble mine.

Referee

I remember writing in a high school journal that I wanted to be the first female NFL referee. I even practiced the signals for holding and false starts. I am fulfilling my dreams. Every day, multiple times a day, I put my referee skills into practice. Time out for touching your brother for the skillioneth time today. Go to your room penalty for your bad attitude. Immediate confiscation of electronics for daring to roll your eyes at me.

 

 

 

Tell me that wouldn’t come in handy in dealing with some DC disagreements.

 

Event Planner

At this point, I’ve pulled off 27 birthday parties for my boys and a few events as room mom. Along with my First Man, I’ve baked enough cupcakes to feed a small state, created decorations from toilet paper tubes, and stuffed a mountain of treat bags. I’ve labeled Sprite as Yoda Soda and chocolate dipped pretzels as light sabers. All this with color-coordinating balloons in tow.

 

ballon

 

 

Hello, state dinners? Got you covered.

 

CFO

Whether it’s using buy one get one coupons or locating deals at local consignment shops, I can stretch a dollar. My humble budget has been pushed and pulled and I stay within my means. My sister-in-law, another mom, got three meals from a $3 package of chicken last week.

 

coupons

 

I have full confidence that a group of mamas could wipe out some national debt.

 

Construction Worker

Legos. Enough said.

 

legotree

 

 

Any building, airport, infrastructure? Small-scale models are prepared.

 

The list isn't exhaustive. Counselor, seamstress, top negotiator, and others need to be added. But I have some reading logs, permission slips, and other important documents to sign.

Anyway, the deadline has passed for this go-around. Even a glowing resume can't turn back the clock. But come 2020, we’ll be looking for you Moms.

 


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